Dear Facebook...

Facebook is constantly asking, "What's on your mind," but I find when I go to type what is actually on my mind, the box keeps expanding...and expanding, until I just give up.  I know that no one wants to read a mini essay, but I really do have a lot to say.  With an English degree, you would think I would know how to condense my words, and use only the essential ones, but alas I do not.

Anywhooo, back to the topic. Lately, like for the past year we'll say, I've had conflicting emotions about social media.  A love/hate relationship.  And I keep wanting to alert my "friends," but feel that it would take far too long in a "status update."  You see, part of me is tempted to delete it, but then I ask myself, "What will you do when you're bored?  When you're waiting for the copier to spout out your 90+ papers?  Or when you're at a realllly long red light?  Or when you're procrastinating  going into work?"  Or, "How will I know what's happening in everyone else's lives?  Or how will I hear about the news?"  These feel like really valid concerns.  Is there another time waster/semi-stalking app available out there?

Then I remember how every time I get on, I see what seems to be perfect lives staring out at me.  Everyone seems to CONSTANTLY be somewhere exciting, or laughing with their 50 good friends.  They always look gorgeous.  And they always seem to have had a birthday that I just missed.  

And it reminds me that A) my life has its moments, but for the most part, at least Sept-May, it seems kind of repetitive/non-interesting unless you're me, B) I don't have 50 good friends that live near me..or like 3.  C) I don't look pretty after a run, after a hike, after just waking up, or when the wind is forcing me to eat my hair.  D) I don't mean to ignore your birthday, but by the time I realize I missed it, I just feel terrible.  Plus, your 600 friends posted on your timeline, so did you really miss me not saying it?  E) The good friends I do have that live far away, we barely talk.  Your pictures are full of other friends, and your timeline is full of fun posts from people you see every day.  That makes me sad that I can't share in your life.  F)  On my birthday, I want a phone call, or at least a text.  When you write "Happy bday" on my wall, and we're good friends, I just feel sad.

Does this mean I'm insecure?  Probably.  But in those moments when I'm having fun, or I look good, or I'm surrounded by my 50..err..more like 2 good friends, I'm enjoying every second.  I don't care if my 698 friends, who I haven't seen or talked to since we awkwardly bumped into each other that one time in high school, know it.  

So my Facebook friends, I love you and I think your lives are way interesting.  Please don't take it personally if I don't remind you or wish you a happy birthday.  If we're good friends, I'll call you or text you or send you a card.  I think about you occasionally..or when you pop up in my news feed.  I hope I get to see you soon, whether it's you visiting me or vice versa, but I think for now, I'm going to just enjoy my mundane life, enjoy the people I get to interact with, and hope that sometime soon you're that person.  

See?  Way too long for a status update.